“Big Doors Swing on Little Hinges” Thoughts on Habits and Intentional Action

telescope pointed towards mountain landscape

If you’ve spent any time around me, you’ve probably heard me talk about intentional action. It’s foundational for me on my path – as well as for those I serve, coach, and mentor. I get to serve in many different capacities these days. And whether it’s someone suffering with deep, generational trauma, an elite performer trying to get to the next level, or someone trying to handle the stress of life and leadership, the medicine always involves intentional action.

Intentional action works well with a strong formal reflection practice. Once we make time for formal reflection, we can use that quiet time, that pause – to take inventory of exactly what we’re doing in our daily lives. We can do simple things like write down our values; values we can lean on for decision making when things get messy or a bit too fast. We can also check in with ourselves to examine if our daily actions are in accordance with our values. We are creatures of habit and that means most of our lives are spent on autopilot, repeating the mental and physical pathways of the days prior. There are studies that suggest over 90% of our thoughts today, we had yesterday. This might sound baffling, but it’s gives us a pathway to making major changes in our lives. Our habits are where we can start making small changes with big implications.

In the early 20th century, W. Clement Stone said, “big doors swing on little hinges.”

We can look at our habits as little hinges.

First, we can do a formal inventory of our habits – I do this in workshops with teams and the results are typically similar regardless of where I am. Take a piece of paper, fold it in half vertically with two columns. Left side labeled: Destructive. Right side labeled: Constructive. Now spend a few minutes or keep it on your desk for a week — the point is to fill the columns with anything you do three to five days in a given week. Some Destructive examples could be things like eating sugary snacks, energy drinks, coffee, whiskey, smokes, raising my voice at home, getting angry, arguing with my family, team, etc. The Constructive side might have things like workout, read, pray, meditate, spend time in nature, spend time in meaningful conversation, eat healthy meals, fasting, serving others, etc.

A typical outcome is a heavy left side of the page coupled with a curiosity on how we might start subtracting from that menacing list. Some of us might wonder how we can begin filling up the right side. And that’s the key. It’s not about dropping the left side. It’s about building up the right side, which takes a reframing, a recommitment to ourselves and it will organically push out some of the left side.

I had been trying to ‘stop biting my nails’ for about 30 years. A couple years ago, I figured I should start looking at this habit a different way. I took a ride down to the pharmacy and went into the nail section. I bought one of those little clear plastic four-packs with two clippers (big and small), a file, and that pointy, medieval looking stick. I then came home and began the road to becoming a nail technician. I’m kidding, but I did commit to sitting down for two nights a week for 10 minutes, clipping, filing, and putting lotion on my fingers. I kept this practice up and after about two weeks, when I was mindlessly raising my hand to my mouth to bite my nails, I’d sharply stop myself. And I’d hear a voice saying, “dude, you put time and effort in to take care of those nails, don’t bite ‘em…”

And just like that, a new mental and physical pathway was created. Letting go of habits and things that no longer serve us gets a lot easier when it’s done in the service of something greater. I was looking at my nails with attention, love, and care – with a renewed value for this part of my body. This is a small example of intentional action with extremely far-reaching implications. We can use this approach to give things new meaning in our lives, which inspires us to treat them better. This works with teams, relationships, and situations as well.

Some folks are working on cutting down their drinking and that’s a hard thing to do when you enjoy it. Trust me, I know. We might consider recommitting to our body a little bit and bringing in something good instead of putting the booze down right away. We can consider making a commitment to run a mile once or twice a week, first thing in the morning. If we can’t run the whole mile, we run as much of it as we can and walk the rest. If a mile isn’t enough for us, we do a bit more. When we begin to do this type of morning training, we might start to notice that last night’s whiskeys are weighing on us. And this might allow us to consider cutting down the number of whiskeys on nights before a run. Then we might notice that two whiskeys are enough, and we don’t need four every other night of the week either. The ripple effects of changing one small behavior are incredible.

We can start small with being intentional about setting some time for ourselves. Our first meeting of the day can be with ourselves. In that reflection time, our intentions are set. Our future is born. We can begin to take intentional action, bringing alignment to our hearts, heads, and hands. And this is when we’re at our very best. Start small and remember what W. Clement Stone said…

“Big doors swing on little hinges…”