Don’t wait till the eulogy.
By the age of 25, I had attended more funerals than a man should in several lifetimes. In a green suit with white gloves, fighting back tears, I presented folded flags to widows from my knees. I heard hundreds of rounds fired into the sky, saluting the fallen Soldiers. And the saddest part, the eulogies. Listening to the friends and families left behind, waxing poetically about the beauty and grace these Soldiers exhibited for others throughout the moments of their lives. People spoke about the fallen in ways that expressed such deep love and light, it brought tears to everyone in attendance. I often imagine what healing powers words like these would have if we simply shared them with our teammates, friends, and families while they’re still alive.
So many of us walk through our days with insecurities. It’s part of our lives, part of society, part of the human condition, especially in the Western world. We’re constantly comparing ourselves with others and doing it to a fault with social media, leaving many people anxious and depressed. These are just a few of the mental and emotional challenges many of us deal with in our daily lives. We walk with an incredible power we do not wield often enough. A power capable of uplifting ourselves and others.
The power of speech.
Our words carry inconceivable weight, and we have inherent opportunity to utilize our words and speech for good in the world. We must get into the habit of using this superpower and that takes investigation, attention, and mindfulness. Think about the way our days get hijacked when someone speaks to us in a manner which we deem inconsiderate, dismissive, or downright rude. It does something to us, right? It makes us pause and then we usually experience some type of feeling, which leads to negative thoughts, which hopefully doesn’t lead to negative actions. Unfortunately, it sometimes does.
If this is true, then the inverse should remain true as well. What if we took care to speak to people kindly and considerately, and recognized them more often? What if we recognized and communicated their beauty, value, and how they made our lives brighter? What if we spoke up and told somebody we appreciated her and why we appreciated her? What if that brightened her day and encouraged her to brighten another’s?
It takes courage to speak lovingly to another. Yes, it takes courage. Maybe it’s because kindness is viewed by some as weakness. Maybe it’s because many of us haven’t been spoken to very kindly throughout our lives and simply haven’t had that behavior modeled to us. We can take the first courageous step in telling others what they mean to us. It can be done, and we can do it.
If you love someone, tell them. Get over your insecurities and tell them. Tell them what they mean to you, that you care. Love is strong, love is light, and we could all use a little more of that good stuff.
It’s time for us to be courageous, speak up, and tell people what they mean to us.
Today. Right now.
Don’t wait till the eulogy.